more value

Where do you place more value in your life?

There’s an activity that I do in workshops that helps us figure out what it is we value more. I have people write down on notecards whether they’d choose sports or school, a job they love or a job that pays well, friends or family, and so on. Once we have all of our values identified, we have to make some choices. To decide what we value most, we rip up a notecard we value least. One by one, we keep ripping notecards until there are only two notecards left.

Those last two notecards have items that are of high value to the person that wrote them. When those two notecards are all that’s left, I can usually sense that everyone is thinking along the same lines of, ”If this girl tells me to rip up one more card…” Which is a totally reasonable thought. We’ve just ripped up several things we value a lot, and now we are clinging on to the two that mean the most to us.

With those final two notecards, I don’t ask people to choose one more to rip up. Instead, we turn to someone nearby, and they rip up one of the notecards randomly for us.

It’s amazing watching everyone’s reaction during this activity. At first, it seems easy to rip up a few of the notecards. As we reach the final notecards, though, I usually see people struggling to choose which one they value least. When it comes down to those final two cards, the frustration and struggle escalate in the room. The frustration occurs because we are no longer given the choice of what we value more. We are left at the mercy of the hand that is choosing randomly for us.

It doesn’t seem fair that someone or something would get to choose what we value most, but that’s exactly what is happening to each of us this past week. Before our eyes, things we put more value into are being ripped away. School, celebrations, sporting events, travel, hugs… the list goes on. There are countless of things we value that are no longer an option for us. They are ripped up notecards.

It feels like all of our “notecards” of things we values in life are being torn apart, just like the activity. That does not, and will not ever, feel good. Integral parts of our lives, and who we are, are being tested, challenged, and changed. However, just like the activity, we still have a notecard left with something we value on it. In fact, if we look hard enough, we several.

For me, this trying time has let me lean into things I value most. Family, friends, music, reading, and writing. I have even began to revisit something I valued deeply in fourth grade: playing the piano. I have put more value into these things, and while I can’t appreciate and participate in many other parts of my life that I value, I know that it’s best to focus on what we do have, over what we don’t.

With so much being taken away, we are left with a lot of value and passion to relocate in our lives. Redirect your time and energy into those things you value deeply. Don’t let it be redirected into fear, anger, sadness, and dwelling on what could have been. When we feed into these things, we are doing an injustice to ourselves and others. We can’t always control our circumstances, but we can control how we react to it. React by leaning into what we have left to value.

Pour more value into what you have, not what you are missing.

What do you need to put more value into today?

There’s more to value.

There’s more to it all.