more selfless

One of my favorite shows on Netflix is The Good Place. Some of my friends don’t love the humor in it, but for some reason it makes me laugh. Without spoiling it for you if you’re interested in watching it, it’s basically a sitcom about what the afterlife could look like. There’s a good place for those who earn enough “points” during their life, and a bad place for those who don’t. According to the show, in order to earn points, you have to do selfless acts of kindness. If there is any selfish intent behind the act, it doesn’t count. This includes doing something to “earn points”, because the fact that you’re only doing something to get to the good place counts as selfish.

While the show is humorous, their definition of selfless got me thinking about how many truly selfless things I’ve done for others in my life. To do something selfless means to give without expecting anything in return, or gain anything from the act of giving. I catch myself thinking about how even when I try to do something selfless, there’s often something I get selfishly in return, whether it be intentional or unintentional.

When I think of my own or others community service projects, acts of kindness, and other seemingly selfless actions, I think about how often it’s not entirely selfless. A lot of groups will do community service projects so that the community will support them in their upcoming fundraiser. People will volunteer so that it can be another line on their resume. Even when all that we gain in our “selfless” act is just a feeling of being a good person, we are acting under selfish intent. We all desire to be seen as good people, and sometimes I think we can catch ourselves only doing things so that others will confirm and feed into that desire. We care a lot more that others see us as good than we should.

It’s hard to say if any of us have ever done anything selfless, because we all, at the very least, feel fulfilled when we serve others. I don’t think we can avoid this gain, no matter how hard we try. This isn’t the selfish gain we should focus on, though. We should be worried about our dependence on being seen as good. We should be concerned if our only motivation is to fill a line on the “community service” portion of a job application. We should distance ourselves from trying to gain more than we give.

We can avoid those selfish desires when we think about shaping our actions into striving to help others in the biggest ways, while only letting ourselves feel that sense of fulfillment in a small way. Don’t let that fulfillment satisfy or make you complacent in serving others, however. Let that feeling of fulfillment inspire more acts of kindness, more giving, and more selfless actions.

What can you do this week that is more selfless?

There’s more to being selfless.

There’s more to it all.