more forgiveness

While Montana is known for having lots of snow, we have equal amounts of wind at times. Therefore, a lot of people have these things called “shelter belts”. Basically, a shelter belt is just a bunch of trees that are supposed to protect houses from harsh winds. The shelter belt next to my house growing up became much more than that for my brother and I, however. The trees were like our own forest to explore in, and we even tried to build a fort with random twigs and pieces of wood. I thought building the fort was somewhat cool, but my brother was way more invested in building the fort.

At one point, my brother was wanting to go out and build the fort every day. I wasn’t much help with the actual building part, but he liked to have some company while he was out there, so I’d agree to go out for a little bit. After about 10 minutes, I’d always say I was going back to the house for a “quick” snack or bathroom break. Without fail, I’d always just stay inside, and not go back out. An hour or two later, my brother would angrily come back in asking why I just left him out there by himself. Time and time again, he would ask me to hang out with him while he built the fort, and I’d always leave him out there by himself. Each time he’d forgive me, and give me another chance to redeem myself at being a good sister that didn’t leave her brother alone in the woods. To put it lightly, let’s just say that I will never win the sister of the year award because I never did stay out there with him.

When I think about how quickly my brother was able to forgive me when we were younger, I question if I would’ve been as forgiving as he was to me. If he would’ve left me out there in the shelterbelt all alone, I would not have been willing to give him a second chance. He did exactly that though, not just once, but dozens of times.

Forgiveness is something we all could have a little bit more of for ourselves, and for others. Whenever I find myself stuck on not being able to forgive someone, I try to remember how important it is to see the amount of forgiveness we give in comparison with the forgiveness we get. We are often quick to forgive ourselves for things that we won’t forgive others for. Similarly, we expect others to forgive us while still harboring a grudge from days, months, or even years ago.

More often than not, we have made the same, or similar, mistake that we are unwilling to forgive in others. If we are willing to extend grace and kindness towards ourselves and our own mess-ups, why can’t we be willing to do the same for others? It’s not always easy to recognize that we hold the people around us to a higher standard than ourselves, but once we do,  it makes it a whole lot easier to extend the forgiveness we have for ourselves to others.

One of my favorite quotes by Bryan Stevenson, an incredible author, and speaker, says,” Each of us is more than the worst thing we’ve ever done. We all need mercy, we all need justice, and—perhaps—we all need some measure of unmerited grace.” I’m not sure about you, but I’ve needed some unmerited grace and forgiveness in my life more than a few times. Be quick to give that same forgiveness to someone today.

There’s more to forgiveness.

There’s more to it all.